Those of us who have lived with naturally curly hair all of our lives, know that once you find that special stylist, they become your best friend and are irreplaceable.

Not all hair stylists are created equal – some just don’t understand the intricacies of cutting naturally curly hair. Believe me, I’ve had a few butchers in the past who have claimed to “know” curly hair.

In addition to the proper cut, a stylist experienced with curly hair will know how to condition, treat and color your locks without damaging them. They will know which products work best in your hair as well as which products to stay away from, and they are usually up on the latest trends and break-throughs for problems such as fighting frizz.

When shopping for a hair stylist, you should not be afraid to ask the salon personnel if they have a curly hair stylist, or a stylist who primarily specializes in curly hair. If they say no, or make you feel like an idiot, move on to the next salon (quickly).  

Your best bet is to visit the salon and stylist in person before making any appointment. If the stylist has curly hair themselves, that is even better – since you know they have had to deal with curly hair issues personally.

Anyway, the reporter (who has naturally curly hair) had one photograph taken of herself with her hair curly, and another with it straight (wearing different outfits). She then went on to conduct a very unscientific survey of reactions to both photos from one group of guys (5 young white males) and a group of very young school kids. Her last experiment was in a job interview - wearing same outfit but with different interviewers.

The guys’ reaction was mostly negative towards the curly hair, however for an attractive woman it seems that they were very hard on her score-wise (25 out of 50 for curly, 31 out of 50 for straight) all together. They were either distracted by the hair, or didn’t offer an opinion at all. Not sure where they found those guys. The young kids also preferred the straight look to the curly locks, referring to them as “messy.”

The interview portion was actually the only interesting part of the story. This was also the only section of the experiment where she spoke as a part of the assessment, so they considered personality/behavior as part of the “whole package” – wonder if the earlier reactions would have changed had they been shown a video instead of a photograph. Apparently her confidence and comfort level were greatest in her naturally curly state and therefore she excelled in that interview, receiving comments like “intelligent” and “personable.” Her scores were much higher with curly hair than with straight hair. If you want to view the entire story in detail, visit the “ABC News Story – The Mane Conflict: Hair Curly or Straight?” for the full story and video.

Having had curly hair my entire life, I find this last section of her story very interesting and encouraging - especially since I am currently hunting for a job and will soon be going through those dreadful interviews. It’s nice to know that somewhere, people actually look beyond the surface.

If you have dry, frizzy hair, then you have probably tried your share of anti-frizz serums over the years. Every time a new product would appear, those of us trying to calm the frizz of our curly hair styles would be first to sample and test the claims of their manufacturers.

One of the first products I ever tried, John Frieda’s Frizz-Ease Hair Serum, has remained the #1 favorite, and it all started with one little packet. It was nice to have the ability to sample the product by purchasing it in packet form (two single-use packets), before buying the full-sized bottle.

Shopping for an anti-frizz serum can be tough because so many products on the market contain alcohol and other drying, or irritating ingredients. Frizz-Ease Serum’s short list of ingredients was a nice change. It contains Cyclomethicone and Dimethiconol, which are clear, odorless silicone products that gives Frizz-Ease it’s silky-smooth feel and frizz-calming properties. The last ingredient is Ethylhexyl Methoxycinnamate, a tongue-twisting name for the sunscreen that gives Frizz-Ease its UV protection.

Another reason for the short-list of ingredients may be due to its fragrance-free quality, which should be seen as a positive thing. Remember that even though a product may “smell yummy” - the chemicals added to it in order to achieve that fragrance may not be so great for extremely dry hair.

When it comes to anti-frizz serums, everyone has their favorites - Bumble and Bumble, Citre Shine, John Frieda, Garnier Fructis - the list goes on forever. What is yours?

If your hair is on the short side you may want to consider relaxing the curl, especially if it is particularly tight. Select a stylist who specializes in this area and have it done at least a week prior to the event. A nice loose curl or wave is very versatile and easy to style. Experiment with smoothing gels and hair accessories. Simple hair accessories work well with curls of any length, whether you use ribbons, decorative hair pins, or a simple garland of flowers.

Having your hair highlighted can add an accent to the shape of the curls - this is also something that should be tried out well in advance of your wedding to see if you like the look.

Your florist can also make hair accessories to match your bouquet – flowers attached to a comb, hairpin, wreath or headpiece for a few examples.

An updo is a style that instantly dresses-up a look. For those with straight hair, it can be done without a professional hairdresser if it is practiced several times before the big day – however, for curly hair it is best handled by a professional. Allow for extra time too, because the hair will need to be straightened to lay flat against the head and then re-curled after the point of the pony tail. Hair has to be chin length at the shortest point, in order for this style to work. There are such a variety of updo styles from relatively simple to simply extravagant! Browse bridal and hairstyle magazines, along with online picture galleries to fine the look you like best.

If you are looking for something simple, yet elegant, and your hair is shoulder length or longer, consider something at the nape of your neck – a nape knot for instance, or a wavy French twist entwined with flowers.

Keep in mind that the shorter the hair, the curlier the look will be due to the loss of weight which would pull and relax the curl. A shorter cut will also require more frequent trimmings to keep the shape – something to consider if your hair grows fast. A good stylist is very important for those choosing a short style!

A word of caution – never let anyone use thinning shears or razors on your curly hair as this can be very damaging to the fragile ends. Proper layering will take care of the bulkiness you get with really thick hair. Also keep in mind the ‘shrinkage factor’ of curly hair when choosing a style. Your hair could actually be up to one third longer when it is wet, than when it is dry.

When selecting a hair style, consult with a professional stylist who has real experience with curly hair. I have found the best luck with stylists who have the same type of hair, although that can be a rare find. Make sure that you tell them how much time you have to deal with your hair each day and how much work you want to put into your look. If you want a wash-and-wear look then let it be known up front. A good cut and proper maintenance are the keys to controlling beautiful curly hair styles.

Straightening curly hair is a real challenge! After some nightmares (and a few chemical burns) it is something that I recommend be done by only by a professional who specializes in this type of service. A bad straightening job can take months to grow out – if it doesn’t break off first!

If you are going for the pin straight look, be sure that is what you really want. Often times making such a drastic change opens up a whole new set of problems. Your styling choices may be limited and if you want any bit of curl later on, it will take more work on your part. Weather changes can also come as a surprise (from personal experience) – humid weather that used to make those curly hair styles frizzy, could suddenly make you go flat.

You may want to try just relaxing the curl first. When you have your hair relaxed, there will still be some curl left. You can then achieve straight look when you want using several methods. One way I have done it is to work some heat straightening gel through the hair and blow dry it straight, starting in small sections at the back, and working towards the front, until it is all straight. Another way, if you don’t care for blow drying and you have some time, is to let it air dry and then work a heat styling product recommended for use with ceramic flat irons through your hair and work in sections from the back of your head forward. With relaxing you get the best of both worlds – the straight look when you want it and the curly hair style when you don’t. It also tends to be less expensive than straightening. If you choose not to have the roots touched up, the new growth will blend in easier than with totally straight hair.

Chemical straightening can range between $50 and $100, or more depending on where you live. Even more expensive is the popular Japanese straightening system which starts at around $300 and can go as high as $1000 or more depending on the length of your hair. Japanese hair straightening must be done by a qualified stylist as this is a very specialized service.

Use a wide tooth comb as much as possible, since brushes can be very damaging to the ends, especially when you encounter tangles.

If it is really curly and you live in humid conditions, a leave-in conditioning treatment and smoothing gel may be good ideas.

If you have the time and you can, let your hair dry naturally. Naturally, if it is the dead of winter and freezing outside you might need to use the blow dryer – if you do, using a diffuser will keep your curls from getting beat up from the force of the dryer’s air.

You can revive your curly hair styles at any time by spritzing the curls lightly with water or any of the shine sprays on the market designed for curly hair.

When curly hair styles were “in” I was a happy girl, but when dead-straight hair was the trend, I was just plain miserable. Every attempt at a straight hairdo ended up a frizzy mess!

Eventually I learned to quit fighting it and go with the flow – or go with the curls - and became an expert at taming frizzy locks. You will find many tips here about managing curly hair, things you should do and things you definitely should not do if you love your hair.

Over the years, your hair texture changes, and so does the way it needs to be treated. Approximately every seven years (or so I have been told) this occurs, which makes sense to me now after watching my daughter who was blessed with fine curly locks as a baby that turned to a wiry, unmanageable mess as a teen and is now a beautiful head of relaxed, red, spiral locks.

Naturally curly hair can be a challenge, because the tightness of the curl can vary in different areas. In many instances, the curl is tighter around the temples and hair line, than it is in the back. This is very important information for your stylist, by the way.

When you make your hair curly, whether by perm, hot rollers, or a curling iron, the curl is even all over and much easier to control the look you want.